Mindfulness

The Finger That Points at the Moon

The Finger That Points at the Moon

Part 2

The motivation to begin Alexander lessons came primarily from my curiosity about this method I had heard about for years. The actors and dancers I knew swore by it, saying it kept them injury-free or was a huge help in recovering from the physical demands on people who use their bodies for a living. On a less intellectual level, I felt a nagging pull toward anything body-based, because I suspected that my relationship with my physical self was not what it should be or could be.

The truth is, I had almost no awareness of my body, my senses, or the way I moved through life. I was senseless.

The Finger That Points at the Moon

The Finger That Points at the Moon

Part 1

I had my first Alexander Technique lesson 30 years ago. I arrived with a belly full of butterflies and a head full of curiosity. Even then, I was aware enough to recognize the feeling of being on the verge of something significant, the sensation of being carried along by a flow not of my own making.

First in a series of reflections on 30 years of Alexander practice.

Taking Refuge in the Body

Taking Refuge in the Body

The Alexander Technique is a place of refuge. “Refuge” is a Buddhist term that can mean different things to different people, but essentially it points to how the practice of present moment awareness provides a resting place, an unhooking from our conditioned way of being, a return to center, a renewal of wholeness. It’s akin to the notion of “sanctuary,” in the sense of abiding in a sacred space and being protected there. As a practitioner of Vipassana meditation, I am still at the beginning of my understanding of Refuge. As an Alexander teacher and lifelong student, I have daily experiences of what I can legitimately call “taking refuge,” and for that I feel boundlessly grateful.

Awareness = Choice

Awareness = Choice

Awareness = Choice. It’s an equation I have experienced many times under a variety of conditions. Until we’re aware of something, we cannot make authentic and fresh responses, but remain reactive in our fixed ideas. If I want to change a habit, I must first know it thoroughly, catch it as it arises. One of the most common habits is known as endgaining. Endgaining is an Alexander term for getting ahead of ourselves, pushing forward no matter what else might be happening in the present. Endgaining causes dysregulation in the body, is in fact dysfunctional thinking. There are many examples of endgaining in our culture: No pain, no gain. Lean in. Just do it. We are rewarded for reaching the goal, not for the way we get there.

Care and Curiosity

Care and Curiosity

A common question from people new to meditation is, “What am I supposed to be doing?” The best and most helpful answer I have received boils down to, “Get interested in what’s happening and be kind about it.”

What To Do When You Feel Lost

What To Do When You Feel Lost

Do you ever feel lost in your own life? In spite of the privilege, the accomplishments, the satisfaction in certain key relationships, people often tell me that they feel disoriented or confused about how they got to where they are or how to move forward, and what steps they should take to do so.  Although specific situations sometimes prompt this feeling, it has less to do with external circumstances and is typically more about how one relates to those circumstances.

The Generosity of Attention

The Generosity of Attention

Generosity is a wonderful thing to keep in mind, because it instantly transforms the attitude and energy of any given situation. Although we typically think of financial giving when we hear this word, there are many ways to be generous. One of the most powerful ways is to give full attention to something or someone.

3 Ways to Breathe Free

3 Ways to Breathe Free

You possess a power that gives you ease, resilience, emotional and mental clarity, postural and spiritual alignment, and improved health and wellness. You are doing it right now. Or rather, it is "doing" you. Breathing.

Awake and Aligned the Alexander Way

Awake and Aligned the Alexander Way

If you study and practice the Alexander Technique, it will change your life for the better.

This is a statement I can make with complete confidence and zero doubt. I can say this to absolutely everyone, no matter their condition or circumstances. There is no one who can't benefit from the principles and the process created by F. M. Alexander and developed over the past century by those who have followed his path.

That’s quite a claim. Read on.

Don't Do Something, Sit There

Don't Do Something, Sit There

Are you sitting right now? Chances are good that you are, and if so, let me ask you something: Did you choose the way you are sitting, the arrangement of all the body parts? For most of us, the answer is no. Sitting is so common, and we have been doing it for so long, that we really pay almost no attention to it until something hurts, or until someone asks us to notice. (Did you change your position when you read the question about choice just now? Bet you did.)

Four Ways to Alexander Awareness

Four Ways to Alexander Awareness

I sometimes wonder about the description of the Alexander Technique as  "a skill set that can be applied in every situation" — how might that sound to someone unfamiliar with the work? It's a pretty big claim. Every situation? Really?

Yes, really, because Alexander work teaches a way of being, in the same way that practicing meditation creates new ways to be in relationship with reality.

Upright but not Uptight

Upright but not Uptight

Most people practice sitting meditation, either in the classic crossed-leg lotus position, or in a chair. A majority of meditators complain about pain or discomfort while sitting in meditation, at least after more than 20 or 30 minutes, and/or over a long period of practice, such as on retreat. While the practice encourages the acceptance of discomfort as it arises, and there are mindful ways to respond to pain during meditation, it makes sense to establish a balanced, easy pose in the first place. What does Alexander Technique offer in support of this?

Five Limbs

Five Limbs

Whenever I notice my jaw clenching, I let it go. It's a simple solution that works every time. There's nothing subtle or complex about it. Releasing the jaw is easy to do, when you know what it is you want to release. Here are some facts that are important to understand if you want to ease your jaw tension

At A Time Like This

Be softer with you. You are a breathing thing, a memory to someone, a home to a life. -- Nayyirah Waheed This is a good week to know the Alexander Technique. Reeling from the worst mass shooting in our history (not counting incidents of sanctioned genocide) and the attack on our LGTBQ brothers and sisters, we are presented with an excellent opportunity to practice mindfulness, to cultivate awareness of life just as it is, without fixing or changing it, without needing it to be different in any way than exactly how it is.

This is important, because when violence and injustice thrust their way into our collective lives -- and this seems to be happening with alarming regularity now -- we want to lash out or shut down or tighten up or collapse in a heap. Sometimes all at once. But the Alexander Technique teaches how to pause; to stop whatever impulse wants to be acted upon and just notice, simply be with whatever is arising. Perhaps the impulse will be acted upon anyway, maybe it's the right course of action, whatever it is. The stopping and noticing is what matters, however. Stop resisting, stop managing, stop being pushed around by your reactivity.

Now, I'm not saying that we passively accept the horrors that surround us as in any way inevitable. We can unlearn our violent ways, just as we can unlearn poor postural habits. But change happens most effectively from a clear place, a place of power with rather than power over, from groups of individuals who can act in the present moment, together in unity. An intention to meet life on life's terms, moment to moment, is a prerequisite for that power and clarity.

This is radical self-care: pausing to ask, "How is it with me right now? Empty CupWhat do I need? What will help me replenish?" At a times like this, many people rush into trying to rescue others, wanting to comfort and care for the wounded and hurting. This is usually well-intentioned, and the body-mind will tolerate it temporarily, but day after day, unless self-care is primary, depletion and burnout are the result. 

Luckily, pausing to do a self check-in takes virtually no time, and the ways to care for the self can be simple and easy:

  • slowly sip a cup of your favorite coffee or tea while doing absolutely nothing else;
  • lie down in constructive rest for 5 or 10 minutes;
  • walk and/or sit in nature while doing absolutely nothing else;
  • call a trusted friend and share one true thing you are feeling;
  • take a break from social media and other technology-based activities;
  • sit comfortably and just breathe;
  • rub your palms together vigorously until you feel some heat, then place your palms over your eyes, let the heat melt away the tension;
  • turn toward your feelings of vulnerability and honor them.

Self-care is primary. That means it comes first, always. It's not indulgent or selfish, it's not "extra" or a luxury, it is not something to get around to eventually, when you get those other people and tasks taken care of. It is the difference between serving a community with love and strength and becoming a burden to someone yourself.

oxygen-mask-227x300Put your own oxygen mask on first, people.

Alexander lessons offer a way to learn and practice the pause and the awareness, to unlearn the reactivity. There is also therapeutic value. When you come for a lesson all twisted up with grief, sorrow, anger, fear, confusion, and all that jazz, you find relief. It's a relief to drop that for a little while and just be present for what is, as it is.

Sometimes (un)learning is too much and all you want is the tender loving care. That's what Somatic Release is all about. Less participation and more pure letting go and being cared for. 

You certainly deserve it, and as odd as it may sound, the world needs it. We need us well.

Primary Engagement

Primary Engagement

Ever had a movement experience that was so unified, so much in the flow, that it felt like the running/walking/biking/swimming was doing itself? Your primary control was fully operational. A healthy relationship between your head, neck, and back was possible, and it triggered this organizing reflex, which then in turn clarified the relationship of all the parts to the whole.

Gimme Your Digits

I set an intention of posting a mindful movement tip each day during December, but I neglected to post one yesterday, Day 10.  So on Day 11, here's a two-fer: 10 things to become aware of, plus one. Sitting up or lying back (however you are reading this), rearrange the furniture of your bones, so that you are in balance. If you're sitting, align your weight on the sitz bones at the base of your pelvis. If you're reclining back, align your hips and shoulders as the four corners of your torso. Allow your spinal curves to lengthen up, from the tailbone to the crown of your head. Let whatever is supporting your weight to be a base for sending thoughts of lengthening and widening through your whole body. Notice where you are contracting, and let go. Open to however you are right now in this moment.

Bring your attention to your toes. Without a lot of wiggling or movement, just notice the toes on each foot. Sense into each big toe, become aware of the baby toes, include all the middle toes in your consciousness. You may feel tingling, pulsing, warmth or coolness, numbness, or no sensation. Are there some toes that seem impossible to connect with?  That is not unusual.

Can you sense the connection of the toes into the bones of the whole foot?  Do your toes feel different on the tops than they do on the bottoms?  Can you expand the space around and between your toes, just by directing some thought there? Get curious about all 10 toes.fingers & toes

Now bring that curiosity to your fingers. Again, without moving them around, sense into all 10 fingers. Are they curled into a fist? Extended outward in an open arrangement? Are your palms down or up? Notice how bringing awareness into your fingers is similar to or different from the awareness you have of your toes.

Expand your attention to include both feet and both hands. Move your mind's eye from the fingertips and tips of the toes up into the hands and the feet. Notice how the pinky fingers relate to the baby toes, how the thumbs connect to the big toes. Can you sense the energy in the soles of the feet and the palms of the hands?

So for most of us, that was actually 20 things to become aware of. Here's the plus one: with full awareness of toes and fingers, feet and hands, include your breathing in the experience of this moment.  As you inhale, picture the breath coming in through the toes and the fingers, moving into the feet and hands, up the legs and arms, and into your core. As you exhale, reverse the movement of the breath's energy, back out through legs and arms, feet and hands, out the toes and fingers.

Congratulations. You have just entered the digital age.

Alexander Technique and Mindful Parenting

I've learned more from my children about applying the Alexander Technique than from any other situation in life. Yesterday I met with my Alexander teacher and training director, Alan Katz. It had been about 12 years, so it was really great to see him. We intended to exchange hands-on AT work, and we did, but first we needed to catch up a bit. Mostly we talked about our daughters, my two and his one, nearly grown by now, who amaze and delight us and make us proud. Instead of talking shop, sharing discoveries about our work, we pretty much focused on our kids, because really that's been Job One for both of us during these past several years.

Source: www.alexandertechniqueinlondon.com

Mindfulness and Alexander work have made all the difference for me in becoming effective and skillful as a mother, and in sustaining me throughout its continuous challenges. The AT was essential in negotiating my shifting, ever-changing body in pregnancy, it kept me strong and flexible for the 24/7, full-body workout of caring for a newborn, infant, or toddler, and it helped me learn how to be less reactive and more responsive to my children. I am far from a perfect parent (whatever that is), but raising children with the Alexander Technique and mindful meditation and movement practices made me a better one. It also helped me avoid unnecessary strain and injury, which is no small thing as we age.

If you are pregnant or know someone who is, encourage them to find an Alexander teacher. If you are breastfeeding, learn some basic AT strategies to alleviate neck, shoulder, and back strain. If you are worn out from chasing your baby or toddler around all day, come get some rest and retooling at an AT teacher's studio. (Preferably mine, if you are in the Philadelphia/Princeton area.) Is your teenager driving you nuts or keeping you awake nights with worry? Alexander Technique can help with that.

During my AT teacher training I was lucky to have a two-year-old at home. Watching her move and grow through those years provided me with the best examples of balanced use, fresh coordination, and playful, curious ease. This lovely photo of my great-nephew shows just how aligned we are meant to be, and what we can regain if we want to.

Ben CarouselA couple of years ago I had a conversation with Robert Rickover about AT and parenting, with a bit about pregnancy and childbirth as well. The Body Learning podcasts that Robert produces include other AT teachers discussing how it helps parents too, in case you want to hear other perspectives. The Alexander Technique and Parenting is about 20 minutes long. I hope you'll find it helpful.

Everyday BlessingsAnother invaluable resource is a book I return to again and again: Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting, by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn. This unique manual of mindfulness is a great companion to all the other "how-to" parenting tomes out there. It provides support for the inner transformation that is possible through parenting, based on their own personal experiences raising three kids.

Our children give us endless opportunities for insight into our own operating systems, and the potential for daily growth. Practicing Alexander Technique and building mindfulness skills help us receive this gift with more grace, poise, and joy.