Uprooting the Weeds
I am blessed with a beautiful garden that came with our house when we bought it. Over the years I have added and subtracted plants that I wished to nurture and grow, and some of them did. One thing that always grows plentifully are the weeds. Every spring it’s a major job getting the weeds out. This year my budget won’t allow for hiring a crew to do it all in one day, so I have been tackling it myself in short bursts over several days. Weeding is a chore, not something that I typically enjoy. It’s hard physical labor, often dirty and messy (which I do kind of enjoy), and it seems to take forever. (If weeding wasn’t one of the labors of Hercules, it should have been.)
The good news is, I have been learning a lot about mindfulness in everyday living. I approach each weeding session as if I am meditating. I maintain the same embodied presence and intention to stay open and observant while digging, pulling, lunging, squatting, reaching, and so on. I gratefully use my Alexander directions to stay easy and aligned, minimizing strain and injury. As I pay attention to how I am moving and remember to use right effort and energy, I become quite focused. I can watch my mind and its endless thoughts in much the same way as sitting on a cushion, which reveals just as much wisdom and awareness.
Weeding is just like living mindfully. The metaphor of gardening as cultivation of mindfulness is a classic and I didn’t suddenly invent it last week, but I deeply appreciate learning this dharma lesson through direct experience. There are many parallels. Here are some that I’m discovering:
1. Weeds are not bad. They're just plants you don't want growing where they are growing. Don’t resent them for doing what they do. Similarly, thoughts are not bad, but there are plenty you don't want growing in your system.
2. When you weed, you choose life. You pull out what you don't want in order to support what you do want. My azaleas, peonies, lilacs, irises, roses, and blue sage do better when they don't have to compete for soil space with the weeds. My compassion, kindness, peace, and equanimity do better when they don't have to compete for soul space with the weeds of shame, doubt, and hostility.
3. To weed effectively, you have to dig deep. Often, deeper than you think. I can easily pull the tops off of most weeds, but to really eradicate them, I have to go deep into the soil to uproot the little suckers. Likewise, I can try a bit of spiritual bypassing and "focus on the positive," but if I haven't gone down deep to really see what's underneath my weedy negative thinking, I won't stay positive for very long. Surface change doesn't last.
4. There are tools to help uproot weeds. Sure, I could go in with my bare hands and start trying to dig up the weeds. But doesn't that seem foolish? Here are some weeding/mindfulness tools:
a. Gloves. Protect the most important tool, your hands. There are ways you could weed that will cause damage. Don't weed without safety, whatever that safety might be for you.
b. Hoe with weeding claw. It hacks deep and pulls out the root ball. Ask penetrating questions when you investigate your habitual heart-mind states. Be specific and don’t hold back.
c. Small claw tool. Goes in around the delicate parts of the plants you want to help thrive. Once you get in there, you will discover that some spots are more tender than others. There are special “tools” to get at the weeds around trauma wounds. This is more intricate and usually physically/emotionally more uncomfortable than using the big hoe. Yet it yields more detail and really frees up the base part of the plant you want to see thrive.
d. Soil rake. Helps separate the pulled weeds from the healthy soil. I must admit, this is my least favorite part of the process. I don't want to sacrifice the good soil that remains, but how good can it be if it's got a weed clump attached to it? It can be tedious, but at this point it’s the process of choosing what to keep and what to toss that matters. (See also, "Renunciation")
e. Wheelbarrow and/or leaf and lawn bags. Once the weeds are pulled, you need a way to dispose of them. The analogy here is pretty simple. Keep letting it go. Maybe tell someone about the "mind weeds" you're uprooting. Then don't give them another thought.
5. Weeds are not a problem. Yes, they do interfere with and even stop growth. That's the main reason to uproot them. Sometimes they can make things look worse than they are. Heck, some days all we can see are the weeds. Other days we marvel at how well and beautiful the plants seem to be doing, in spite of all those darn weeds. But honestly? It is not about the weeds. It's about the plant beings we want to nurture and love so we can enjoy the fruits and flowers. It's important to remember, during all those hours of hard weeding work, that the toxic thoughts and feelings are not the enemy. The laziness, the fear, the animosity that you feel are arising because conditions support them. Change the conditions -- uproot those weeds -- and they lose their power. They can't interfere as much or as often.
A friend recently asked me what she could expect as a result if she sat and meditated every day for 20 minutes, and I quipped, “fewer weeds.” But that’s not accurate. I can’t guarantee fewer weeds to be uprooted, but I am sure of one result: my relationship to a weedy garden, or a weedy inner life, is being transformed. I haven’t magically become excited about getting out there and pulling up weeds. I still sometimes struggle to get my butt on the cushion to meditate. But I do notice a more lively curiosity that makes it feel less like a chore and more like exploring. I have become better at recognizing the difference between a weed-thought and a wise one, so I can cultivate the good and abandon the unskillful.
And my garden is beautiful.