The wise and wonderful Joseph Goldstein said, "We paint pictures in our minds of what will be, and then become frightened of our own imaginings." Have you found this to be true? I certainly have.
Return From the Ghost Realm
I was 30 years old before I realized that I was disembodied. Like so many people, I walked around thinking I was living a life, and of course I was, but most of my existence played out in my head. I had almost no present moment awareness of my body.
In taking Alexander lessons, I found something better than the short-term safety provided by shutting down or numbing out. I literally learned how to feel my body once again.
I used to think I was rather damaged or deficient in this area, that normal people didn’t have to remember to be embodied.
I was wrong.
Ease Up for a Change
How to Be More Like Charlie Chaplin
I waved away notions of self-love as indulgent navel-gazing, an attempt to escape from the "realities" of the world and its troubles. Then I had an experience on retreat that changed all that. I began to realize how harsh I was with myself, and once recognized, this insight led to a huge transformation.
Turns out that Charlie Chaplin had a similar experience, and his On Loving Myself can be a roadmap to move from self-loathing to self- love.
Being > Doing
When we choose to stop working so hard we shift our relationship to ourselves as well as to our social circles. We expect less and question what we believe is expected of us. We might end up doing exactly the same number of things as before, but "I Have To" becomes "I Get To," as we allow more spacious awareness in both body and mind. We can learn to ease up and stop trying to push the river, as they say. Letting go is one way to do less. Letting be is another.
Practicing the Pause
One of the key components of mindfulness and somatic processes like the Alexander Technique is practicing the Pause, learning how to wait before taking action. There is a moment between stimulus and response, and in that gap is the possibility of making a fresh, perhaps different choice. When we don't do that, we often increase our own suffering.
Includes a Bodymind Experiment
The Meditation Routine
Daily meditation has been described as mental hygiene, and that’s true. Just as we brush our teeth, feed and clothe ourselves each day, sitting meditation can be part of your routine. It isn’t a matter of “finding the time” (a frequent complaint), it’s finding the best time each day. Every time we meditate we are training our minds and hearts to incline toward unity, balance, and steady calm. Even the least “successful” sit (whatever that means) trains the attention in this way. This is self-care for the soul.
Visitors with a Tale to Tell
Lately I have been struggling with powerful bouts of despair and doubt, temporary but painful. While that makes me human, it doesn't need to dictate my day-to-day existence. The key is to recognize despair, negativity, fear, rage, and all these sticky heart-mind states for what they really are: visitors with a tale to tell.
Finding the Strawberry
Are you waiting for things to improve so you can feel better again?
Is your jaw tight, your knuckles white, your breath held? Do your thoughts run out of control? Is your mind fuzzy and your attention worse than ever? And do you believe this will change just as soon as the pandemic is over?
This is what is known as Destination Addiction, the belief that once I arrive at some future point or state of being, then I will be okay, then I can be happy and at peace. This is what AA calls stinkin' thinkin' and it stinks because it is a lie.
The truth is, you don’t have to be dependent upon certain conditions in order to know happiness and inner peace.
Care and Curiosity
What To Do When You Feel Lost
Do you ever feel lost in your own life? In spite of the privilege, the accomplishments, the satisfaction in certain key relationships, people often tell me that they feel disoriented or confused about how they got to where they are or how to move forward, and what steps they should take to do so. Although specific situations sometimes prompt this feeling, it has less to do with external circumstances and is typically more about how one relates to those circumstances.