Your Most Intimate Relationship
When I first sit down to meditate, I experience something wonderful: my body. It doesn’t matter how it feels, it is simply good to connect directly to it. Like most people, during my waking hours I am occupied with activities that primarily require mental activity, even when they’re also physical. Sitting here writing this is a case in point: while thinking about what I want to write, I’m also using my hands for typing, my spine for support, my diaphragm and lungs for breathing, my pelvis and legs for grounding and balance.
This is so constant that we typically don’t notice it; we are mostly “in our heads” when we do anything. When I meditate, that is the activity I am “doing.” When I turn toward the present moment, I shift from only thinking and I open to physical sensations. Reconnecting to my body tells me what is happening in the moment. It gives me an anchor for mindful awareness, and this fresh body-mind unity feels good (even if my body or mood state does not). It brings ease.
One of the core principles and lasting benefits of the Alexander Technique (AT) is a renewal of this way of attending to the body. Knowing the AT has given me the capacity to be aware of my body during activities (like writing this), to include what I’m sensing within the whole field of my experience. This makes any activity more efficient, fresh, and authentic.
This is how I have come to understand that the body is a reliable refuge. You can count on it because one of its functions is to mirror accurately. It cannot lie, it doesn’t play tricks like the mind sometimes does. This is such a powerful truth that I included it in my list of 21 Things I keep Learning (#13).
When we talk about self-care, we’re talking about the body. I know it’s often considered “taking a mental break,” or even “shutting down or shutting off” for a few minutes. But when you hear what people do for self-care, it’s almost always something sensual or body-based. Instinctively we all know that we need to come to our senses.
Perhaps the most significant shift in my life has been going from a chronic disconnection from my body to a lively and positive relationship with it. And it is my privilege to help others rediscover their own amazing bodies, work that provides true satisfaction.
Ten years ago I posted a prompt on my Facebook page: Please name something about your body that you love and/or respect. I got some beautiful responses, which I compiled into Body Love. This rich variety of somatic features and functions is a celebration of our incredible bodies and what they do. It’s a testament to the power of positive appreciation for the most intimate relationship you will ever have.
So how do you relate to your body? How do you view it? Is it an ally and a friend that you trust? Is it a battleground, where you fight with it for control and mastery? Is it an improvement project you have to manage? Maybe it’s just a vehicle, a means to an end. It might be a burden, a miracle, or a complete mystery.
Or all of the above.
I have started to ask my clients to complete a body relationship survey, to consider the ways they habitually think about their bodies. I invite you to do this too, if you’d like. It’s a tool that reveals what may otherwise go unnoticed. I certainly didn’t know how I thought about my body until I began Alexander lessons, and over the years since then I have often bumped up against some of my ingrained opinions about it.
The more often I practice including my sensory self in my present-moment awareness, the more I experience consistent unity of my whole self. This provides such goodness and so many benefits:
· less confusion, more clarity
· less tension, more ease
· fewer lies, more truth
· less autopilot, more creativity
If this sounds good to you, you might begin by taking a little time each day to pause and appreciate something about your body, or savor something pleasant you enjoy. Like any relationship, you get out of it what you put into it. If you ignore someone they will either try unpleasant obnoxious ways to get your attention, or you’ll lose your connection entirely.
I can show you how to do this, through any of the services and classes I offer. Nothing gives me deeper satisfaction – a bodily sensation I just love.