An Inside Job
Last spring I spent some time assessing the state of my practice. I was not only interested in how the business of my practice was going but, more importantly, how the work itself was developing. Some would call what I do a mission or a ministry, others could say it’s an art or a craft, and the more clinically-minded might label it a health intervention.
To me, it is all of this, but mainly my work is about growth and learning. So I came up with a list of 21 Things I Keep Learning, as I teach them. That’s the best kept secret about teaching –- it’s a guaranteed way to keep learning.
Lately I’ve been aware of how two of these truths show up in my life, and the ways they interact and inform one another. One truth is that life is dynamic. Like everything in nature, human life is defined by continual change and growth. The other is that, in the words of the great Sylvia Boorstein, happiness is an inside job. Satisfaction from external sources is only temporary. True peace of mind is not dependent upon conditions being or staying a certain way.
This is good news, right? If the nature of existence is constantly flowing, dancing, changing, then it’s a relief to let go of the expectation that events and circumstances should provide lasting happiness. I can drop that notion and turn toward my own intrinsic nature to find where contentment lies.
It is ridiculously easy to forget this, however. How often do you think, “If it wasn’t for X, I could relax.” Or, “How can I be happy when so many people are oppressed and in danger?” Of course, we each need and deserve the basics: shelter, food, company, safety. It is harder to be at peace when you’re hungry and don’t know where you’ll sleep at night. But if you’re reading this, you probably have those things most of the time.
Once the basics are met, why do we cling to externals and wait for them to reach an acceptable point in order to be okay? We even sometimes view our emotional life this way, as if feeling angry or scared means we’re not alright. Some emotions can’t coexist, like gratitude and resentment. But a lot of the time it is both/and -– we feel more than one thing and it’s all legit.
Remembering the impermanent nature of everything helps, because when there are several feeling states arising simultaneously, we can also notice how they change and don’t last. And that applies to externals too. Things are especially horrible in the U.S. right now (and globally), but greed, hatred, and delusion have always been operating on full strength. It appears that evil has free reign these days, but it didn’t pop up overnight. So many causes and conditions have led to the current climate.
This is why I find it crucial to do the “inside job.” I have no control over what plays out on the world stage, but if I become more adept at knowing my own mind and heart, my own flaws and gifts, I stand a better chance of taking actions that can ease the suffering around me, and possibly even address the root causes of that suffering.
We engage in meditation and other forms of wise embodiment as practice -– we practice the way you’d practice piano if you wanted to get good at playing, or train in running if you wanted to complete a marathon. We’re practicing with ourselves, to refine and become more intimate with our true nature, to shed the delusional artifice and be more authentic.
The more you do this sort of thing –- “this sort of thing” being what I offer at Way Opens Wellness and call “my work” –- the easier it will be to remember how nothing lasts and how that’s okay, because the wise move is to go with that flow. You’ll notice when you might be trying to resist, change, control, or wrestle reality to the ground and pin it there until it looks like something that might make you happy.
Even if you could do that (and lord knows I keep trying), the happiness won’t last. Doesn’t it make more sense to do a deep dive inside and find the buried treasure of your own underlying calm, care, and love? When you get just a little bit quiet, you can feel it, it’s there. No matter how bad things are on the outside, no matter how undisciplined your mind and unruly your heart may be, nothing can touch that.
I have practiced at least enough to have direct experience of that truth, and I am deeply grateful to have endless opportunities to keep learning it.