The topic on everyone's mind right now is the coronavirus known as COVID-19, with the Democratic primaries and the general election a close second. The chatter around both of them is loud and constant, whether from mainstream media sources, on social media, or around your neighborhood and workplace. Most of the messages carry an underlying tone of fear, and there is a lot of misinformation out there. The result is that nearly everyone is expressing a lot of anxiety and upset in the face of uncertainty.
This is a great time to practice mindfulness and compassion. Conditions are perfect to gain clarity about the difference between concern and worry, fear and terror, self-love and selfishness. The difference is not a matter of intensity but rather the degree to which we are willing to move closer to our anxious thoughts and scary feelings and relate to them differently. Worry, for example, is a repetitive rumination on what might happen or what should have happened, or not happen. The mind spins around, churning out possible scenarios to chew on, like a dog with a bone. Concern, by contrast, is proportional to the situation; we are concerned enough to take extra precautions based on the facts as they are known. Worry keeps us bound up in imaginary what-ifs; concern frees us to choose actions based on present moment information.
It's the same with fear and terror. Fear is a normal, healthy, and helpful response in humans. Fear is designed to keep us safe. Like pain, fear is a signal that gets our attention. I start to step off the curb to cross the street just as a car zooms past -- bam! fear wakes me up. Suddenly I'm paying closer attention as I walk. Terror, on the other hand, has an element of mental commentary to it, often with a cruel streak. It's like we amp up the fear with thoughts about how bad it is or will be, or we hear others' negative predictions and stoke our fear with them.
The way we relate to ourselves during these anxious times is crucial. Self-love or self-care is almost the opposite of selfishness under these conditions, because if we cannot get our own basic needs met we will not be able to support others very well. Selfishness is when someone hoards all the hand sanitizer for themselves. Self-love is extending compassion to yourself when panic arises at the sight of the empty shelves. Loving-kindness is when you can send well wishes to the person who took the last bottle.
Panic and unchecked anxiety wear us down, just at the times when we most need to be responsive and resilient. People under the pressure of fear often lash out, causing separation between themselves and others, just at the time when community support and cooperation is called for. But it doesn't have to be that way. We may have some bad habits that kick in when adversity strikes, but we also are innately kind and loving, and if we can remember that we will feel much less out of control and more able to function well and (dare I say it?) enjoy being alive no matter the situation.
This takes a willing intention to practice. Here are some resources that provide useful information and/or guided practices for meeting your anxiety mindfully.
On the Spot Ways Not to Freak Out - a post from my previous blog site, Moving Into Mindfulness. A real-life scary situation and descriptions of how others soothe themselves.
How Scared Should I Be of the Coronavirus? - factual information and 8 steps you can take, from anxiety.org
5 Ways to Build Resilience Every Day - good definition of resilience with evidence-based discussion of how mindfulness practice helps, and practical suggestions on how to cultivate it, from mindful.org.
Self-compassion guided meditations and many other resources, from Dr. Kristin Neff, creator of the Self-Compassion program (modeled on MBSR).