The future is not some place we are going, but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found but made. And the activity of making them changes both the maker and their destination. -- John Schaar
 

If the past year is an old man, and the new year is a baby, how do you relate to babies? Most people feel tenderly toward infants, unless they're screaming on an airplane or in the grocery aisle. We generally approach a baby with interest, kindness, and care. The urge to comfort and cuddle, to produce a smile or a laugh, and to keep a baby safe from harm is pretty strong in most humans. 

As a new year begins, is it possible to approach our lives and relationships like they are a baby? I've been noticing folks doing a lot of goal-setting and resolution-making, and I understand why this can be a good thing to do. I have set some new intentions for this year and am renewing my commitment to some old ones. Yet I have long been skeptical about this activity because it can lead to a feeling of failure as one inevitably loses momentum or interest or consistency with those resolutions. I know it can end up feeling pointless and lead to thoughts like, "I'll never be free of this habit" or "I'll always struggle with this." (Watch out for that always or never thinking.)

New Year's resolutions typically try to get rid of something (lose weight, quit smoking, calm the rage) or get more of something (exercise, meditation, better budgeting, less TV and more reading). I follow Russell Brand on social media, where he asked folks to fill in the blank: “I am leaving _____ behind in 2022.” An intelligent person replied, “I’m not leaving anything behind. I’m learning to grow from it all.”

Because you are not a problem. That stuff you went through in the past year that makes you feel like you really need to get your act together? That's your teacher, your friend, a gift. If you've thought about it enough to determine that you must make a resolution for the coming year, keep reflecting. 

This is a wonderful time to adopt an attitude of beginner's mind. If this is a new year, and you are turning over a new leaf, act like it. It's a baby you haven't gotten to know yet, a little baby that needs your full attention. Turn toward whatever you want to do differently with the understanding that it's a completely open situation, something you have never before experienced. Especially if it is an activity, relationship, or environment that you know very well -- see what happens when you allow yourself to view each moment as fresh and original. When you get stuck in the rut of what you think you know about something, you may be missing the richness of what’s really happening. Beginner’s mind frees you from expectations, which can lead to disappointment and resentment. Practice opening to whatever arises with gentle humility, without needing to be an expert, even if you are. In this way, you open with wonder to life as it unfolds. 

Hold gently whatever it is you want to change, with the tenderness you feel for a beautiful child. Hold yourself that way as you deal with the cravings or the new workout routine or that troublesome person you cannot avoid. Remember that each breath you breath is new and fresh. This body is not the same body you had a year ago. You have never lived this moment before; are you awake and aligned with it?