The Joy of Choosing Gratitude

I recently led a small group in a gratitude meditation. Afterward, I asked if anyone experienced any challenges during practice, and one person said “I couldn’t decide what to be grateful for. I had so many things, and I spent most of the time trying to choose just one.”

That’s what we call a happy problem. Sometimes, when you get interested in the positive things in your life, you might be surprised at the abundance of reasons to feel and express gratitude.

Or you can simply be grateful for being alive and appreciating this at the start of each day. Brother David Steindl-Rast, respected Benedictine monk, author, and teacher says, “You think this is just another day in your life.  It’s not. It’s the one day that is given to you. It’s a gift.  And the only appropriate response is gratefulness.”

But what if your situation is very difficult or you have a lot of problems? How can you be grateful then?

At a 2014 Gratitude Summit Brother David posed a mystery: Why do some people with many troubles also have great joy, while others with few problems are miserable? The difference, he argued, is gratitude. “That kind of joy doesn’t depend on what happens,” he said, “it is the joy that springs from gratefulness.”

In January I kicked off a free monthly webinar series with a session on gratitude, and it has been the most popular topic all year. So I am offering Resilient Well-Being with Gratitude again on Saturday, since November is a traditional time for giving thanks. In that program we define gratitude as a two-step experience: first you recognize that something good has come your way, and then you express your appreciation or thanks for it. Scientific evidence suggests that expressing your gratitude directly to someone, or just between you and the Universe, is the key to being a kinder, happier, more creatively engaged person.

Getting grateful shifts your perspective. Last week I was finishing up some shopping and noticed that I felt resentful and irritated about how far away the cart return was from my car. (Honestly, can you believe how often we sweat the small stuff?) As I walked across the parking lot, I looked up and saw the sky --  a beautiful mosaic of fluffy clouds of various colors, tinged with bright rays of sunshine.  As I opened my heart and really saw this beauty, I was instantly transformed. I felt grateful in two ways: thankful for the beauty of our world, and happy that I could choose to experience it directly, that I have the power to appreciate what is good about this life.

I was so struck by the simplicity of this choice to be grateful that I shot a little video about it and shared it on social media. It’s an example of everyday gratitude practice, the kind of momentary shift that begins to happen spontaneously the more often you engage in formal gratitude practices, such as meditation, writing gratitude letters, keeping a gratitude journal, or just naming three things you are grateful for before you to go to sleep.

Gratitude is built into us, it is part of human nature to be thankful. Savoring moments of appreciation strengthens your overall well-being. Any time you feel grateful your nervous system responds and your brain chemistry changes for the better. That’s why gratitude feels good physically as well as emotionally; it is a powerful stress-buster.

So when you find yourself grumbling, get grateful instead, and see what happens as a result.

Bodymind Experiment

Find a quiet secluded spot to watch A Good Day (5:32) with David Steindl-Rast.

Begin by taking a few deep breaths and relax into your seat. Watch the video without doing anything else. Just watch it and notice if it sparks any feelings of gratitude in you.

Take at least 5 minutes to write some reflections about your response to the video.

Think of someone who would benefit from watching A Good Day, and share it with them, using this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Zl9puhwiyw

Be sure to tell them what you liked about it and why you think they will appreciate it too. Remember, “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” (William Arthur Ward)